Dear Logan,

I won't let myself fall asleep. I won't. I absolutely refuse. Until you return and take back your dreams, I'm not doing it. You could have killed Jubilee. You woke up before I did and had her pinned to the floor, mindless that the hands you were using were not your own.

If you'd shifted just a centimeter to the left...

If she'd not recognized you for what you are, and struggled...

Well, you'd have more company in there at any rate.

As it is, I now have my own room. I no longer have to lay in that narrow bed and hold my body down. I almost miss that. With it being so quiet, only the infrequent loud breath, I could pretend. I'd empty my lungs and open my eyes, keeping stone still. Not even a finger would I move, letting my muscles stiffen from the strain. Eyes gone dry wouldn't see the shapes of darkness, my mind would be so quiet. I could almost fool all of you in here.

I could hear their thoughts, their apprehension, "Is this it?"

"Am I dead?"

Then my body would betray me and draw breath of its own volition. Your voices would be a chorus of relief and disappointment. David and Erik both seeming to fear the end. You, Logan, were different. You were like me. Needing that end that just wouldn't come. But you were afraid for me. For you. You didn't think you could survive my death. I told you how foolish you were. Of course you wouldn't survive, none of you would.

Lies and half-truths fall like snow,
covering the things that I remember,
the things I saw.
Sometimes, I forget.

That you've a body, a freedom. The grace that comes from being a separate entity. Do you dream anymore? I dream you, vivid and raw. Every time I close my eyes, I live your horror. The you that's inside me says you still dream. But no more pictures of green water and surgical lasers. No more faceless demons and champagne glasses. You say you dream of red roses on lilac. And always wake in a cold sweat. Am I the shadow in your day? Do I suck the light from your world?

Are you cold without me?

I can't remember what it is to be warm.

                         Love,
                         Marie